As the various reasons for coming home early are ranked, are there really any that are better than others? Hardly. But "hardly" means there is a measurement that ranks one better than another. But hardly. If your missionary is coming home unexpectedly due to medical reasons perhaps that is better than were your missionary to come home for not being worthy of their position. But hardly better. Regardless, in each case there is much worry, heartache and disappointment.

Our missionary failed to fully prepare to serve. As a result, unworthy of the Spirit's help and unable to fully engage in the work, our missionary raised a hand after two months in the MTC and one week in-country and told the mission president "I don't feel comfortable here." 

A man or woman's confessions to their religious leader is strictly confidential. What is confessed is between those who have transgressed and the Lord's representative. Unless your missionary shares with you what has happened, you're pretty much left in the dark. In our case, we only knew our missionary was home for not being worthy to serve the Lord, and that's all we know.

Is that enough to know? Do you really have to know the details? Yes and no. Yes, because then I am better able to defend my missionary from additional temptation, perhaps. Then I am able to foster an environment that strengthens and encourages righteous desires. No, because knowing doesn't change the end result. Knowing means I know and I'm not one hundred percent sure I can keep that information from leaking into the ward's Facebook connections. In some ways I would rather not know. The debate has no right or wrong answer, which makes it all the more frustrating.

So, my missionary is home and I don't know why. After the interview with the Stake President, after the subsequent interview with the Bishop, my missionary sits on my couch in my house rather than in the "mission field". So many broken pieces on the ground and I'm the only one left to pick them up.
Mare Wynn
7/10/2012 12:55:11 am

I'm getting ready to pick up the pieces, wondering if there is anyone to pick me up when I fall to pieces. Just waiting for the travel arrangements to be made. I don't think I'm a coddler, I've sent other sons who stayed for the whole 2 years. Totally baffled and wondering how to fit him back into this family that had prepared and planned on his absence. By making it easier on himself, he is seriously making it very hard on his parents and siblings. I know he doesn't see that from his remote village, and by the time he does see it, it's just too late to change anything. How much fixing can he do if he's broken? Yeah, it's me, picking up all of the pieces.

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Andy Jensen
7/10/2012 05:08:01 am

Mare: Don't give up hope! And what you should be hoping for is peace and nothing more. Be generous with your hugs and do not fear what others may think or say. Don't hesitate to schedule time with a counselor to talk with your son, something which did wonders for us. Be open with your ward about what has happened and then people won't wonder what happened; instead they'll know and feel more empowered to reach out. I can feel the pain in your words and I feel so sorry for what you're going through. But don't give up hope for peace. Feel free to correspond via e-mail if you have any questions. We've been through this and we want to help.

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